“PROCESSING.”
Sometimes I run my writings by one friend or another who knows my situation, for “tone,” understanding what’s the purpose of the writing. One of these thankfully catches it when I’m “processing” instead of writing to directly address the issue. There is always a lot to process, and the “process” of not doing it where I shouldn’t usually means extracting what I just wrote — and putting it on another post. That’s this post.
However, scroll down past the teal colored font to black, for the original. It turns out one of the women who signed my Petition (Signature #51) and submitted a brief comment with it, went through a similar long-term process of seeking justice and protection for her children (a daughter and two? sons) — and fled to Canada, not finding it here in the US. Only to find that it followed her across the border anyhow.
…or read it all, for a discussion of the impact of having to process acts of abuse and betrayal, constantly, on the target’s personal life energies, and time.
Thanks. The dynamics of this situation are changing. It’s my intention it should be for the better, and not for the worse, as I am concerned. And, I am still a mother. What’s it really saying when one married woman without children of her own starts campaigns against those who have given birth and developed (through raising them) a bond with their own children? Which woman does that tell more about?
In February 2013, I heard from an ex-batterer, the father of our two daughters, that ONE of them had almost killed herself, that had been psychiatrically institutionalized against her will — and he couldn’t say when, and wouldn’t go find out, although he DID use it as an opportunity to try and re-initiate a relationship with me WITHOUT doing what any good father might’ve done (first, admit his having abandoned her as a minor to a very hateful woman, who was also angry with him (apparently) for jilting HER, after separating them from their mother, MIGHT have something to do with it)…
Another round of calls and attempting to extract the truth from someone I’m immediately related to…. SO, I put up this blog lest the re-telling of it destroy me in the process too, and the blog is called “MISOGYNY MUST GO” Subtitle “Both My Daughters Deserved Better from their Married Aunts.” If you want to learn more about me personally (family background, work life) or some of this situation, that blog will help. However, it doesn’t change the central truths of the public petition.
See “When Acceptance is Unacceptable, Ask Hard Questions” (home page)
Written February 2013 after some disturbing news
I can see why people fear single mothers. They ought to! We are intrinsically motivated, problem solvers, and through experience in raising children, can often tell who’s honest and who’s just pretending. Some of this, you can’t drive or beat out of us; it isn’t going away. Why even try?
I put this page up for a point of reference after noticing that
during the PRECISE years I was being attacked in and out of court by a sister who later became my fiduciary (gained control of funds I needed for survival after having been driven out of music and through many other devastating life events, a process that destroyed my profession and
ability to function in it, among other things) she has been able to do a variety of shows and displays. (shows listed here). My survival priority right now is getting her off my trust fund and posting a public petition for this; so this page is not polished. I question what my sister Jean Pfann’s motives are for refusing to respond to my request to step down — and get out of my life. There has been a track record of failure to protect and gravitating towards setting up situations that endanger me.
She is a fine artist, but has been a lousy fiduciary, and before that, sister!
Archaic Sphinx, by Jean Pfann => => =>
The problem with my “relationship” with Jean Pfann is that after all that’s been done, there IS a relationship at all. Nothing in the character and behaviors here merits what I would ever accept long in a friend, a spouse, a business partner, or if an employee, from my boss; if an employer, from an employee (which situation has some standards in place to protect both; the employer can discharge a person, and the employee, if civil rights are violated, can sue), or a professional (which I’ve been) from one of his or her clients. And you can’t have ongoing relationships where one person condones repeated violence (injustices and lies are included in this) towards the other, and the other does not. That’s a recipe for “bad.”
What Jean has instituted over the years, and has become adept at it, are circumstances where actions in combination with words tell me (and others paying attention) that IF I dare to break this relationship, I will pay a very heavy price for doing so, OR one of my daughters, OR possibly even a supportive friend will. The public already has in the form of my being forced o seek public assistance for food, and this is NOT the first time post-separation, involving Jean and her spouse this happened. It defies the common sensibility that one cannot simply leave another person with whom one has NO voluntary relationship. But by virtue of obtaining control of a portion of funds set aside for my, and after my death, my offspring’s (“Issue” it’s called)
benefit — Jean has from her position of trust, which I had nothing to do with giving her, managed to for a few MORE years, make what should’ve been a normal or reasonable situation and transition, just h.e.l.l., and attempted to clean it up verbally, shrink-wrapped and rewritten in an attempt to justify the behavior.
When there’ve been years of one or just a few people psychologically dumping on specific others, in addition to abuses affecting personal health and safety, for example, interfering with accesses to things that sustain life (funds) AND repeated disruptions of a work life, to the point of eliminating it — that’s a burden that can’t be carried around. It has to go somewhere — it cannot be held inside without a health risk. But nor can it be dumped by the roadside, ignored, forgotten, and omitted in future dealings with the same people. Survival says, No.
In my situation, in addition to the long-term coercion and attempts to control, progressively, ALL significant aspects of my life, forcing me into a back-seat rider position in my own life, and sidelined in participating with others outside the primary, very bad relationship, it’s punctuated periodically by even more violent incidents of betrayals of trust — in this case by someone literally in a position of trust called “trustee” on funds (not of my person). Or other situations expressing long-held hate, callous disregard, or other bad things I did nothing substantial to deserve, that I can see, other than continuing to exist (as opposing to, just rolling over and dying), and what’s more exhibit a sense of independence by telling the person (and these days, that’s my sister) to just STOP. Or, o change. Or, to go away.
Hence, P.T.S.D. — only I’m still working on the “Post” part, making the easy introduction of more traumatic incidents from this family member (and immediately related ones) a thing of the past — is going to entail some processing. I don’t do drugs (any kind), so it’s going to come out in words, in part as a form of psychologically surviving this.
Being in this state I can best describe as having a suspension of forward movement in life (taking action towards a goal) for purposes of expression. It stops you in your tracks. If this isn’t done, it goes inward to DEpression, and isolates. EXpressing (whether or not sent, but somehow it seems better when sent to at least one other person) helps, REpressing doesn’t, got it?
That’s also why letters to my sister requesting solutions, actions, or refraining from actions, are beyond normal; they force me to endure the PTSD, to dissociate from it, and distill enough of the intensity of the situation onto words which won’t (ideally) later characterize me as an angry person, in an attempt to dismiss my cause (when in fact, I’m rightfully angry about what’s being done, repeated boundary violations and bullying). If Jean doesn’t like that, then quit doing the wrong things, and work with another human being to reconsider IF your version of “right” isn’t right. And if she can’t do this — she can’t continue in the present position.
Within the last month (May, 2014), I quit taking emails from Jean and told her so. however the business at hand required continue writing them, for example, I INVOICED her, not just for funds, but also for information. I included on the invoice requests about strange expenses showing up periodically on this account, and what services, if any, were provided for them.
The responses were only (a) absent or (b) abusively reframing the situation, (c) wasting my time, and (d) in general, as ever simply slapping down whatever issue I’d raised. From this perspective, and it is extremely frustrating over the years, the process of even a single exchange of information with my sister, and seeing what comes back, well, the information comes back as if it’s been through a meat grinder. Whatever it was going in, it’s nothing close coming back.
This appears to be how she thinks, which I cannot tell you how disturbing it is to have that kind of “thinking” in charge of and anywhere IN my immediate future. I think there is something seriously wrong and have taken all means reasonably possible to detach from her — before and after our mother died. She’s forcing interaction by sitting on something I need to get away.
So, instead of getting this type of information from my sister, mid-May I then got it from Ms. Margaret Hand, an attorney, and the emotional tone AND irrelevance of the subject matter are pretty much the same, only from a Super Attorney apparently not used to taking feedback. I remembered on receiving it the few prior communications I’d had with her, none were any better — and I clearly remember the circumstances that prompted me to email, and the harsh negative consequences that immediately followed (two of which are mentioned in petition overview, they were critical DOWNward turning points in this situation).
I took time to write back, then received yet another form of betrayal and attempt to bypass proper routes delivering time-sensitive information to me directly. Which I’m posting separately. However, this is betrayal of trust from someone in significant authority over matters which can affect my housing, my transportation, my ability to function, and my safety.
And she just, being an attorney, engaged in completely (from what I can tell) UNethical behavior. Unethical behavior usually is for purposes that wouldn’t be available through ethical behavior, and I learned, third-hand, what this is likely to be, which is also a significant threat to my well-being and ability to plan a future (which is also what I’m fighting for here…) should it take place. It was an act of aggression. Of course, that’s what some people hire attorneys for — to fight THEIR battles. Part of winning any such war is cutting the supply line AND the information lines of the other side.
IF we had been on the same page (which ideally would be, compliance with laws governing trusts, and with this trust itself, with a view towards some benefit (good), not some damages (bad), then there would have been straight-up communication.
Too much!! What you see above was to talk about the process of “processing” and to explain what this below is doing on the blog, at all. It’s on here because I want it said.. I tried two days to post what happened just in the past four days (May 31st through yesterday) and couldn’t publish.
You see, in situations like this (chronic, long-term ones) actually telling the truth has in the past proved and can easily in the future prove dangerous to one’s personal health, or potentially lethal. As it says.
People who know my style will understand that sometimes, in saying one thing, I point to another. I am saying, however ONE thing, and here, that’s about how I have come to view the courts in this wonderfully developed country, the USA.Not that I won’t resort to them again, if my sister Jean continues along her present path, and/or her hired attorney (from the funds she controls which I am in need of access to for basics and to move away) continue seeking instead of doing the right thing, or consider my interests during a transition period charging ahead to make yet MORE major decisions affecting my future, without regard to my needs or wishes, without acknowledging the mistakes of the past, making any remedy for them, or even attempting to make sure they do not occur again. The last written piece of evidence I have from the attorney hired by my sister, not to mention also my sister, indicates NO change of direction and NO change of practice. The apparent actions indicate otherwise.
So, in this context, particularly this summary, from Petition Signature #51, which I hope more people will consider: It’s short, accurate, and speaks volumes.
Unfortunately, this is how this nationwide system of court corruption works. The mentally ill / unstable are “armed” to attack the targets. All money and stability is drained from the target with the goal to have the target be government reliant for survival. I wish you the best and release from this system!
I have not led a life like this person (I didn’t marry a wealthy banker). But whatever the original state, many are being funneled through similar systems — different levels of oppression for different levels of high stakes involved. And to that short comment on the “Welfare Funds Not Your Private Playground” petition, I say…
Well said! And I wish more people understood it, too.
Some of the armament may be in the family law system, and after that the probate (trust-related), case in point.
I don’t know all of this person’s (Kimberly’s) situation, but parts can be seen here– she fled to Canada (family law situation) and was tracked down there. She had been married to a banker (that is a June 2012 post from a Minnesota blog protesting family court corruption), qualified in real estate, and writes. She fled to Canada to protect her daughter (although no such luck with the sons). Here is a blog she seems to have maintained for part of the year 2011.
We have run across each other in comments fields, but this comment above just makes so much sense. Below, only one post remains from July 2011, on “Why Is There No Safety?” This is also Kimberly Sperling, I believe:
In February 2010, my daughter and I fled the United States of America. On that day, along with other material, I gave to Immigration Agents a handwritten letter explaining that because of the level of government persecution that we had endured for 4+ years in the United States of America (and the large number of government officials involved in our personal situation) that I felt we would “never be allowed safety, security, privacy, emotional well-being or justice.”
. . . .
We arrived at the border with only one suitcase each, unprepared but hopeful, toting 6+ file boxes of evidence and supporting documentation, tapes, pictures, videos, etc. of the plight we had been through. We had been relentlessly persecuted, terrorized, threatened and harassed by criminals, my ex-husband’s attorney, the court system, the police, and seemingly every governmental agency in the United States physically and/or through inaction.
I had contacted all of the available government agencies from the local level up to county, state, and federal levels and in various capacities about crimes against our person, property and abuse of the children. I questioned the apparent lack of help and action from the agencies and begged, sometimes desperate, for help. This had been going on for several years andas we continued to reach out for help from anyone and everyone, the persecution and crimes against us only ever increased. We would be put in our place, was the message, and no one intended to do anything ever.
. . .I don’t know that I’ve been through what this family has (see blog), but this has been my experience, including in the last six months or so, when I reached out in OCTOBER for protection against Jean, and the simple help I had always wanted — not to be a dependent, but to have sufficient protection to re-engage in a work life.
About two weeks after that, there was a major stalking weekend, and sooner or later one begins to wonder who is notifying “whom” to put the pressure on.
When several have similar financial incentive to act (and some to NOT act to protect), then coincidences, compared with gut instinct, aren’t…. She writes:
My family and my situation is extremely severe, and has lasted more than six years now, only ever increasing in intensity. Looking back, it’s hard to believe any of us have survived it and it is even harder to believe the lack of support and help. I know we aren’t alone. In fact, I personally know 3 other women with the same sinister circumstances; women who are balanced individuals, excellent parents and gifts to their children and society. They are all mothers who are givers, lovers, communicators and honest individuals.
Each of us has something in common, abusive ex-husbands with personality disorders and long lists of unprosecuted crimes seemingly facilitated and covered up by the government. Somehow something very unexplained had taken place in all of our lives, something that defies all reason and logic and which has lead to queries as to if my ex husband is a CIA Informant or a Freemason from seasoned investigators in 2 countries.. . . .
That’s been going on here — it seems to only escalate, never back down. (this is from the LinkedIn site and an excerpt from her next book, I guess).
Naively, I had lived placing my belief in justice, repercussions to criminals, and law that must be followed by all. I clung to this belief for years with fervor; nonetheless I would encounter an entire world that operated beneath the one where we lawful citizens went to work, school, church, sporting and social activities. The very foundation of everything I believed in would be proven wrong…”
I think we’re in times where this world is much closer to the surface.
She’s essentially saying the social, working, etc. world we are operating in (as in that paragraph), is NOT the foundation. This basic concept, I agree with. There’s obviously “above-board” and “underground” when it comes to economies. I may not see it exactly as she does (and I don’t), but when subterranean events start bubbling over on the surface, one tends to go digging. And it was the family (not probate) court that got me looking. And it would be a mistake, a big one, to assume that the family law arena (in which property, households, and of course children) as we’ve seen can be transferred overnight and permanently without warning, from one household into another, which may or may not be one of their parents. This is also true with the area of probate and it’s the trusts and estates fields that attempts to control the situation. Not everyone owns real estate, obviously, but we are still talking, within the field real estate – –and that spells wealth, and income-producing assets. Like, if you’re renting residential or commercial property, building it, investing in it, etc.
If you’re one of the middlemen (lawyers) in that field, it’s a vast one. People divorce and raise children and people die. That’s not about to stop– so, there will be customers…
So, this mother Ms. Sperling fled.
I didn’t, I stayed and as it turned out, one of my daughters fled (as I would characterize this and with the last information I have on it). Either way, I also have known mothers, in particular, who have been put homeless through the family court system — (what they are charged in child support AFTER losing custody of their children is a factor, for sure). I also know of mothers who opted to run, and some of them, not just out of the state, but out of the country.
Now here I am — see the petition. Was I better, or was either of my (our — they have a father!) children better off somehow for my having stayed? How was my staying and seeking justice, and to establish some standards, as a woman raising her own children in California, good FOR? Because it was the right, not wrong ,thing to do — I didn’t cut their father out of their lives and did not go around violating court orders. Was this “favor” returned? Absolutely not. That’s not how it works… And that’s what I learned.
More about this one on an upcoming (perhaps…) Page, “Targeted, Drained and Driven,” on why systems supposedly supported (by the public) to help and protect, instead tuned to do the opposite?
Could it have anything to do with the giant “Social Security Trust” and the entire code of laws for administering it, which attracts less than ethical people to fields where families can be disrupted, or forced to fight in court for basic survival, for contact with their kids, or in an ongoing attempt to NOT require government assistance? In other words, is the game rigged?
Kimberly Sperling in Nov. 2012:
Synopsis: I’m a real life mom that has to take on the jobs of an investigator, attorney, social worker, therapist and police officer and find a way to secretly flee from the U.S to save one child in hopes of saving the other 2 and getting them out also. My ex-husband is a criminal into drugs and porn and the government is covering for him. Court cases are rigged and court orders falsified along with police reports that contradict all other witness accounts and documents.
I have no verified personal knowledge of her case, but only through on-line associations. My husband is from an entirely different line of work and probably socioeconomic sector, it would seem, than hers. But as to the matter of police reports, that’s been an issue in our case. This was probably where my faith in the system started to crumble, around a few key incidents, I thought the report would help.
It’s one thing to see this within immediate family, or locally, but that experience drove me to pay attention to the strange responses in certain courts to what a normal person would call highly inappropriate behavior (stealing property, repeatedly lying under oath, stalking, harassing, kidnapping minors, abandoning stolen minor children, elder abuse — most of these in my observation* were routine and central parts of the Englund v. Englund situation, in which my sister/s and brother/s-in-law were involved, and by association, our mutual mother Mary L. Pfann).
What in many cases the penal code of our state would simply call a felony had actually occurred, but why be bothered prosecuting when it can be shuffled off to another venue?
*”in my opinion” is the disclaimer. I’m not a lawyer and that’s not a legal opinion. But I read English, which the California penal code is written, and when certain violent and harmful acts have taken place, they can be described and matched (a series of them actually) to it. That no one prosecuted these is another topic. This lack of consequences for criminal behaviors told me, the people involved, and two growing daughters, that none of those acts WERE wrong or criminal, they were just life as usual. And when we got right down to it, the venue where criminal acts (to the common understanding) can be legitimized, would be the family or “conciliation” courts, where private outrages are re-arranged and reframed as for the public good.
Because, as it turned out, social policy defines marriage (and fathers) as a public good, and promotes this over safe separation in cases where it’s obviously called for, which influence it turns out to have come from the federal grantmaking (i.e., Social Security Title IV-A grants to states, etc.) sector, funded by under one GIANT trust.
It is the giant in the room, and it gets the money up front, which produces also revenue from both interest and investments obviously, and then dispenses services, complains about the budget deficit, and what’s more charges for some of those services.
After tracking those grants for some years (recall that the particular Northern and Southern California urban areas (SF and Los Angeles) are key, it turned out (along with Denver area, Illinois (Chicago, obviously) Minnesota, Arizona and some eastern states (Connecticut comes to mind) in pushing the model of the “conciliation” courts — the antidote to divorce.
In the long run I think this was possibly more about a domestic breeding program spurred by fear of too many people that do NOT look like what the US Congress would like in a photo snapshot today, having too many babies, more than particularly white middle-class “feminazis” who have had enough being beat up at home and were too independent. If it ever had been about that, seems to me, that they got drained off into the temptations of the magnificent “DV Cartel” – a series of nonprofits which have further centralized and standardized the treatment of “domestic violence” terms, blended it nicely with marriage promotion and split the proceeds, some of it through supervised visitation trainings, practices, and etc.
[http://familycourtmatters.wordpress.com] (That wasn’t idle chatter — it’s what I did after the LAST job ran out and I was unable to do much BUT look things up, and, having no children, no profession and most support systems cut, went about finding some new ones and finding out WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE and WHY did this happen?
Which also required admitting where one had been mislead — not by filing for separation (NO regrets about that) but by looking for answers in the wrong places by simply just not understanding how our country has been (re) organized. It was definitely a fine “road trip” and now I am a resource to others, for what others SHOULD’ve but didn’t provide in a timely fashion, for people in my circumstance.
When you read all the “I, me, mine” talk above, understand that I am networked in several states and know plenty of people with variations on this theme. Strange to say, we do try to help each other, though it’s rarely financially because that is exactly what’s been stripped off. I’m not doing this for just one family line, that’s for sure…
This is a 2009 post referencing the government financial statements (“CAFRs”) which was a more sensible way than through broken, third-class public databases riddled with (intentional, I’m sure) mis-spellings, but on much more organized and professional status balance sheets and financial statements that governments use among each other to count their own eggs, as opposed to what they tell the public they dished out scrambled up for public consumption.
The beauty of this is pulling into perspective, by decades (here, after WWII) a different history of the U.S. which it would’ve been nice to learn as an adolescent — if that’s what public K-12 education had been for at the time. I also note that I graduated before the development of the internet…
This appears to be one man from NJ now in Arizona, with a background in trading? & commodities, who at some point in time (ca. 1989) “got” what the syndicated plan, built right into government itself, consisted of, and where to read the blueprints. This is just a one-page summary, though:
“1940s secret “corporate” tactic by which the Government took it all”
By Walter Burien
05/10/09Many people have asked for a simple explanation as to the intent behind the CAFR and what happened over the decades?
Well, in a nut shell here is the foundation block that allowed government to take it all over by investment.
It started in the mid 40’s and grew into what we have in government now seventy years latter* come 2009.
Government started out as a “pay as you go” structure. By transforming into a corporate liability company over the decades, this gave them the ability to use “advance projections” to strip annual operating funds and create advance forward liability accounts whereby in doing so they were able to by stealth build numerous “wealth bases” of equity in many designated fund balances separate from the budget reports that were exclusively presented for public viewing.
PAUSE to CONSIDER THE ABOVE: Stripping annual operating funds, in government entities allows what? Demand more taxes, create the appearance of lack.
JUST LIKE JEAN has been doing in the matter of my inheritance. It’s earning income (dividends, interest), I guarantee you — but the main point is, not coming my way. It’s also having distributions from it, but again, the point is, not coming MY way except under her control — and she wants to control my housing, and NOT let me get away until she’s ready to. It’s a fact, hungry people without much contact with their children ARE a little more easier to manage.. to a point… It’s essentially moving it around and giving it different names.
When looking at the “whole picture” through the CAFR and sub investment fund reports noted per gross income, only 1/3rd is tax income whereas when you look at a budget report for the year it gives the impression per gross income that nearly 100% is tax income. Very deceptive when only one side of the coin is presented.
But that’s throughout the media and throughout our neighbor’s conversation, most likely: “Budget Deficit.” Is that a lie? Not strictly — if you’re only looking at the budget part. But what about the parts we aren’t talking about so much — like those other funds?
Which brings us to the elephant in the room when we enter courtrooms under county, or state, control and think it’s just about what it’s just about. You want to get out of there, and others want you IN there. It’s more accounting than the actual subject matter.
Budget reports are presented giving the false impression that it “is” the true financial picture and it is far from it. What is shown is primarily tax income for a “selective grouping” of accounts where tax income is collected and expended.
Review a few CAFR surplus reviews – http://cafr1.com/ShowMeTheMoney.html
*unique spelling crops up from time to time. So what — it’s the numbers that count more!
More to come, or see that other blog….
Jean Pfann Up Close & Hostile 